I’ve been asked by my dearest friend Emma to write a couple of paragraphs on tips for ADHDers who are trying to build some healthy habits.
Feature by Jane Grogan
My first paragraph will be about how difficult it is for me to write a couple of paragraphs about anything…Why? Because I (over)think so much!
I have spent the past 20 years studying / hyperfixating on various methods of holistic wellness – Researching what professionals and experts have to say about this topic. I also practise the methods I’ve learned and apply different tools to my own life. Some things have worked really well for me, which interestingly doesn’t mean that they automatically become a new habit as one might expect! Some things definitely haven’t, and have arguably made me feel worse.
The same ‘general’ health and wellness advice obviously applies to an ADHDer. You may be well aware that you should exercise, eat healthy foods and get enough sleep, for example, but it can be more challenging to follow through for so many reasons. It can feel super frustrating when people constantly give you this advice: “But have you tried…?”
Even the delivery of the ‘advice’ feels wrong, like you’re being told what to do, which often has the opposite effect. I don’t need to be fixed, I need to be heard and supported and given enough space to figure things out for myself.
So advice this is not. Just a few things to consider that I find helpful at this point on my journey.
So the first tip I have is to move. Why not give it a go right now – stick a proper tune on and have a dance. When we move we shift out of our thinking heads and into our bodies… Give it a try.
Of course there are many other ways to move also. The key is finding what you enjoy… or resist the least, and do it as often as you can. Wrap it around your day and be as playful as possible. Dancing whilst doing boring chores, using the mop as a microphone and belting out Irene Cara at the top of my lungs is a personal favourite – but each to their own.
Which moves me on to the next tip – spend some time getting to know yourself. Setting healthy habits is not going to be easy or straightforward. Following what someone else does will be near impossible. Be your own guide. Figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. Allow for time to explore and jot down what you learn along the way.
Addressing what you feel, and finding systems that work for you is crucial.
I use a simple written planner in the morning – for me it has to be written – to prioritise and list my tasks and events for that day and week. I also journal or should I say splurge all my thoughts out of my head most mornings and then reflective journal most evenings, when I remember. I meditate, chant or sing whenever I fancy and did I mention that I dance… a lot. Remember your habits don’t have to look like everyone else’s
Negative self talk and self-sabotage can leave one feeling a lack of self worth, filled with self doubt, even hatred, which is a difficult place to start anything from. Low dopamine leads to lack of motivation and then there is executive dysfunction (just touching the surface here) – meaning your brain doesn’t communicate within itself effectively, this can all contribute to making new habits or any task, feel impossible to even attempt. The pull to abandon ship can be strong. Know that you’re not alone.
You’re doing great, don’t give up!
Keep going. Get support. Find safe spaces to talk. Do what works for you. You have got this. Take back your power.
The system can feel like it works against you. This can leave one feeling powerless, with less control over your own life.
Exploring tools that help you to cultivate self love and compassion is super helpful in building self-esteem and self-love.
Go easy on yourself; the symptoms of ADHD are not easy to live with.
It turns out I have more tips than I realised and I have clearly written more than a couple of paragraphs so I’m over and out for now!
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From the archives: Five things that will (probably) make you feel happier.