There are some sad and shocking statistics surrounding divorce in the UK, which could be telling us that we may be doing something wrong. According to statistics from 2019, 42 percent of marriages currently end in divorce. There were over 200,000 divorced people in 2017, which has not only caused heartache and turmoil for those involved but has also cost the taxpayer over £51 billion over the years. Luckily, these numbers do appear to be falling, albeit gradually. UK citizens are becoming increasingly aware of the fact that a lot of marriages fail and are taking steps to ensure that when they do get married, it is with the right person. Technology is playing a major part in this, and people are now able to filter out potential partners who are incompatible.
Dating Apps have made Meeting the Right People Easier
It’s hard to imagine a time before dating apps and the internet. Those who were looking for their perfect partners before the online world opened had a much smaller group of people to choose from. Baby Boomers and other older generations were like fish in ponds compared to millennials, who have the whole ocean to swim around and explore in.
In those Stone Age times before social media came along, our ancestors had to resort to meeting people in high school, at university, or through friends. Of course, the more confident people were able to go out and flirt with strangers in bars, but even then there were still restrictions on the number of people to choose from. Those who are able to meet people in social situations such as bars still have a minefield of things to consider when approaching a potential partner. Indeed, there has been extensive research into what to wear, say, and how to control the sudden feelings of nervousness when they hit.
For those who may be interested, red is the best colour for men to wear as it is associated with higher status. That’s according to Professor Andrew Elliot at the University of Rochester, who also says that the colour is likely to trigger something that is deep and biologically ingrained. That’s something to bear in mind, especially when choosing the photos you use for social media and dating apps.
Dating apps have completely revolutionised the way people meet one another and have opened up a world of possibilities for even the shiest introverts. When looking through the photos of prospective partners on Badoo, for example, the user need not feel any pangs of anxiety as they may have if they approached the same people in a bar. The distance that the website provides allows people to get involved with dating at a pace that’s right for them. From there, they are then able to find out more information about them by clicking on their profile page. This way, it’s possible to discover if they have the same interests. If everything checks out, users then move onto the messaging phase. A date could be arranged after the two parties had decided they liked each other sufficiently enough to take it to the next level.
There is certainly a lot of time efficiency with dating apps, and they eliminate the need to strike up a long conversation with someone only to find out later that you have absolutely nothing in common with them. They have also made it possible for people to really zone in on the kind of person they are looking for, and there are filters that can be used to make sure that unwanted demographics don’t appear in searches.
Perhaps most importantly, dating apps have given people more freedom to decide their own relationships. Instead of sticking with someone when it clearly isn’t working for fear of never finding another partner, people now know how easy it is to find someone else via a dating app. It allows people to make clear-headed decisions about who they should eventually settle down with.
What do the Experts Say about Soulmates?
While it is now possible to easily find someone who shares common interests, is it really possible to find someone who is perfect for you? Some people like to cling to the idea of there being one person out there that is the ideal partner.
There has been a lot of research into the concept of soulmates, with some people believing in the concept while others don’t. There are destiny believers and growth believers, with each group having different ideas about relationships. The first group would question as to whether the person they were with was the right one for them, while the latter group would put more energy and focus into building a relationship to make it work.
An interesting theory suggests that actually believing in soulmates can help people find someone who they believe is made for them. Someone who believes that they have a soulmate out there for them is less likely to stay in a relationship and try to make it work if they believe that the person they are with isn’t their destined partner. For people who live by this theory, dating apps are ideal. They allow them to sift through high numbers of people until they find one who is right for them. It’s similar to going to a clothes shop and trying on a number of different dresses, looking in the mirror and then settling on the perfect number.
There has been some other research, however, suggesting that even if you do find your so-called soulmate and marry them, you still need to put work into the relationship for it to succeed. Ted Hudson of the University of Texas found that there was no difference in the objective compatibility between couples who were happy and those who were unhappy. He said that those who professed happiness said it was down to them making the relationship work, while the unhappy ones claimed that they didn’t think they were compatible. This highlights the fact that even if two people find each other on a dating app and believe they are perfect soulmates, they will still need to make compromises and learn to get along with each other to make the relationship succeed for a long period of time.
Will there be a Reduction in Divorces in Future Generations?
There are some intriguing statistics surrounding the age at which people have married throughout the last century. Between 1950 and 1980, the average age of men at their first marriage was 23, and for women it was 20. These averages shot up dramatically by 2018, though, when it was 29.8 for men and 27.8 for women. From these figures, it is clear that people are taking much more care in making sure that they have found the right person before rushing into marriage. There is less of a feeling to conform to social pressures of getting married and settling down, and more women these days are choosing to focus on their careers before they get married.
Perhaps the biggest contributing factor explaining why millennials are taking their time to consider their options is that they know how easy it is to meet people online and can, therefore, be pickier about their partners. The fear of breaking up a toxic relationship is lessened by the knowledge that it can be so simple finding a replacement with the help of dating sites.
Users of dating sites are able to meet a lot of people and find out if they are right for them before rushing into anything serious. They often choose to live with their partners for a certain length of time first to see if any issues arise while cohabiting. In the past, a lot of married couples only moved in with each other after the wedding. Nowadays, however, the tradition of carrying the bride over the threshold of a new house seems somewhat dated.
As the user experience becomes more refined, there may be an even bigger increase in successful marriages in the years to come. Smarter algorithms will allow people to upload more data and match quickly with others who have similar interests and personality traits. Who knows, it may even be possible to run simulations to find out if people will remain compatible for a long period of time. Thanks to technology coupled with modern views on marriage, divorce rates are likely to keep falling.
If you are trying to find your soulmate, actually believing that there is an ideal partner out there for you is a good place to start. Dating apps provide a perfect platform for matching with the right people, and it is now easier than ever to find a suitor. As the process becomes even more refined, it will likely lead to a growing number of successful marriages.
We’re very proud to bring you this feature in association with Badoo and Crisp & Co Solicitors. For more tips and advice, please pay a visit to our lifestyle page.