Over time relationships change – this is perfectly natural. Whether you’ve been together for two years or twenty, a healthy relationship means communicating well, being patient with each other, being supportive and treating each other with love and respect. However, as time goes by, it’s easy to forget these little pieces of information. Especially where money is concerned.
Studies have shown that the biggest topic that causes friction, even in the healthiest of relationships, is money. Whether it’s spending habits, uncontrollable debt, concerns for the future or a lack of planning, money might make the world go round, but it can also destroy relationships.
If you and your partner are fighting about money, then don’t fret. Here we’ll discuss some simple ways you can both stop arguing about money and come together over your finances instead.
Talk about the future
When it comes to finances, it’s common for one partner to be the “planner” and the other to not really think too far ahead. This can cause a lot of frustration and resentment which can lead to arguments. Setting goals and sitting down together to discuss what you both want can significantly improve your approach to money and your communication. Whether you’re planning for your children’s futures with a junior stocks and shares isa, or you want to save for your first home or retirement. Sit down and discuss what’s important to you both, showing an unenthusiastic partner how this approach will benefit them in the long term will hopefully get them on board.
Agree on larger spends
That new TV your partner keeps talking about, a 2 week holiday, a new car or night away… all of these things sound great, but if one of you isn’t keen on spending so much money and the other goes ahead and does it regardless, then it’s going to cause all kinds of problems. Agreeing on larger purchases will help to keep you on the same page. You can discuss both sides of the argument and then decide on the best approach. If you plan to make a purchase, discussing it with your partner first can make all the difference.
Work through your debts together
Whether you accrued a large amount of debt before you met or you and your partner have loans and credit cards in both names hanging over your relationship, if you resent each other for the financial choices you’ve made then it will only create more conflict between you. Tackling and working through your debts together is always the best approach. Sit down and discuss where you owe money and which debts need to be prioritised. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a debt charity for advice at this stage.
Finally, communicate – regularly!
It’s common for partners to bring up the topic of money when something has gone wrong. Perhaps a bill hasn’t been paid or you’re wondering where a large sum of cash has gone from the joint account. This is a breeding ground for animosity and creates a negative environment around your finances. Instead, consider a positive approach and commit to communicating about your finances regularly. Sit down once a month to go through your savings and your spending, see where you can save a little more and decipher where you can afford to treat yourselves!
We’re very proud to bring you this feature in association with Wealthify. For more features, please pay a visit to our lifestyle page.
