I have been in a bit of a beauty funk. Without going on about age too much, I have started getting letters about direct cremation, as well as catalogues full of gadgets designed to keep me warm and snug. These have more than taken the steam out of this beauty addict’s engine. However, as it’s Menopause Awareness Month I thought I would put pen to paper and talk about it. Yes, that thing my mother never talked to me about. The thingie. You know, the change.

My lovely mum Doreen Buckland was a force of nature, equally at home scouring shelves at Home Bargains as she was having afternoon tea at The Dorchester. There was no social situation where she felt she couldn’t fit in. However, looking back I do know that she did go through a difficult time in her late forties and early fifties, which coincided with my final teenage years: it was white-knuckle ride there for a while. And then time moved on and whatever my mum had experienced was never spoken about. She bounced back and discovered Princess Cruises.

When you reach an age where every single medical professional asks you about your mother’s health history, it is a bit of a challenge when you can’t come armed with many facts. So on reflection, I probably hit what is known as the perimenopause in my early forties without realising it. And since then I have ticked every box on the symptom list. If you know, you know. From brain fog, to rollercoaster moods, and then on to skin issues and more troubling health concerns, I have earned my frequent flyer rewards. When the late, great comedian Victoria Wood said there were only 40 minutes in any moment when she was full cogent, she wasn’t joking. Well, she was joking, but she was also hitting a raw nerve.

A recent news documentary about the menopause featuring Kirsty Wark has caused much debate. Without getting into a medical maelstrom, accessing HRT at a level which suits you and works for you is absolutely vital. I am really, really lucky in that it was first raised with me as an option at our wonderful Liverpool Women’s Hospital here in my home city, and the care I have received via them has been first-rate. I understand on that front I have been really, really lucky. One thing I will say though – do not let scare stories have you running for the hills. HRT has changed my life in so many ways, and I know it is helping my healthy future. It is not suitable for everyone, and many choose other ways of supporting their system, but choice is the key word here.

Now onto the less serious business of beauty. At some point as I hit my half-century, everything changed, and I mean everything. Brittle hair, Gobi-desert skin, dry eyes: you name it, its hydration levels jumped ship. My hair, which has always been my pride and joy, was the one thing that really got to me. At the same time, many markets suddenly started bombarding me with a product to ‘solve’ every menopause issue. From menopause t-shirts to menopause teas, I felt overwhelmed with the aisles of goods now on sale.

Through trial and error, and some lucky discoveries, I have worked out what works for me and what doesn’t. I am pretty low-key these days, too. Gone are the days when I used to have three different neck creams on the go, and I can’t remember the last time I wore foundation. I have also been coming to terms with what I actually look like – that thing where you shun golden hour and look at yourself in the cold light of day. Also, while I understand you can go heavy in terms of investment, from majorly expensive procedures and treatments, as well as a whole plethora of gadgets, I am still pretty much a product kind of gal.

So these are the things that I can highly recommend.

Three Warriors The Radiance Complexion Serum (£70 for 60ml www.threewarriors.co.uk)

I am really lucky to have some experienced industry insiders as friends. Self-tanning expert James Harknett, adored by the glossies and the A-list alike, recommended this new launch to me, and I am so glad he did. Two decades ago, fake tan was pretty much fake tan to me, but now it needs to be a skin-loving multi-tasker. Facial tanners are possibly the most difficult to get right, but this serum by Three Warriors is genius for a complexion like mine. It dealt with my pigmentation, dry patches and uneven tone with ease. Containing key skincare goodies including hyaluronic acid, marine collagen and niacinamide, the game-changer is being able to apply it under moisturiser. I love the whole range, but this tanner is top of the market tree for me.

Kerastase Chroma Absolu Radiance Sublimating Hair Oil (£27.50 for 30ml at www.lookfantastic.com)

Choosing one product from this range is impossible for me, but this is the one I would cling to in a hair crisis. I have always loved Kerastase and this is an absolute hair-saver. This is specifically for colour treated hair. One issue I am encountering is colour fade, and my hair losing its former glossiness. I use this as a pre-blow dry treatment and also smooth through ends after any kind of heat styling. The matching shampoo and conditioner are my ultimate treats.

Katherine Daniels Anti-Fatigue Eye Mask (£12 at www.katherinedanielscosmetics.com)

I have given up fighting lines around my eyes. In fact, I am getting quite fond of them. But tired, sad, lonely skin there I am not friends with. I am going to be honest. I save these for when I am watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills so I can feel like part of the group. I love this mask because it encompasses the whole of the eye area, and not just underneath. I keep mine in the fridge for an extra cooling effect, and in 15 minutes the plumping and smoothing ingredients get to work.

Beauty Pie The Youthbomb Five (£190 for members at www.beautypie.com)

Before you keel over at the price, this includes five iconic products from the groundbreaking Youthbomb range. I struggled with active ingredients until Beauty Pie launched Youthbomb, but now I am a convert. This contains Radiance Concentrate and Breakthrough Cream to use in the morning, and Retinol Eye Serum, Retinol Face Cream and Collagen Peptide Cream to use in the evening. I have dry, sensitive reactive skin and this regime has helped deal with hyperpigmentation without irritating my skin. The ultimate in supporting my skin at my age.

Studio 10 Lip Fuller Set (£34 at www.studio10beauty.com)

Studio 10 is a line which is aimed at a slighter older demographic, and then its wonderful formulations take over. I first met Studio 10 via His & Hers several years ago, and since then several products have made it onto the re-purchase list. I really struggle with dark or intense lip colours and this one mimics your own natural lip shade. Lips do thin as we get older, and our lip line sort of goes to sleep, and this duo wakes them up. Packed with super-hydrators to restore your lips to former glories. Also, every product within their complexion stable is worth a try.

Leighton Denny Intensive Nail Repair Capsules (£17.50 at www.leightondenny.com)

Leighton Denny remains my favourite industry nail expert and his knowledge and expertise never fail to impress. He has a keen eye for innovation and nail health, and so these blissful capsules have become part of my routine as prescribed for me by Alex Bell, the personal nail professional I credit with turning my hands, and nails, around. One capsule is enough to cover fingers and toes every evening – I pop this one on before bed. These provide an intensive course and can be used as a weekly treatment for maintenance. The formula contains LD trademarked innovative hydrators and nothing has equalled these for helping my dry, ridged nails. And as always, they look very pretty on your nightstand.

Aveeno Skin Relief Body Oil Spray (£9.49 for 200ml at www.boots.com)

I have always loved a great body oil but the way I go through it I need one that is effective in every sense. This option is just lovely – its jojoba and oat oil formulation is perfect for my dry, dry, dry skin, which is also so reactive when the winter sets in. Rich in fatty acids and lipids it also absorbs quickly. Which is important when you are slipping into some toasty PJ’s straight after!

Lisa Eldridge Seamless Skin Enhancing Tint (£37 at www.lisaeldridge.com)

You only have to look at Lisa Eldridge herself to feel inspired. This expert make-up maestro has created a line which is exactly like her – refined, and classy, with an every woman touch. Every product in this range earns its place, but this one has really won my heart. Made up of 78 per cent skincare, it also is suitable to use around the eyes, so it’s great to pop on in a hurry. I have really sensitive skin and this is so soothing, and has really brightened up my dull complexion, which is of extra importance during colder months.

Trinny Eye2 Eye Shade (£18 at www.trinnylondon.com)

Last but by no means least, a little miracle pot from His & Hers favourite, Trinny. I have had to give up on powder shadows, and I have found from using these creamy little beauties, I save time and hassle, and the effect is really natural. The moisture-enriched formula is great for delicate skin. I love Harmony for a daytime neutral Trust, a fawny brown for when something a little dressier is required.

In terms of wellbeing it is time to really become your own advocate. Get your vitamin levels checked – that is a great starting point, as so many of us are walking around with deficiencies we have no idea about. Keep up-to-date with your eye tests – yep, welcome to my world of the detached retina, floaters and dry eyes (just for the record,  eyecare royalty comes in the form of Thealoz Duo Dry Eye Drops which are the choice of professionals in ophthalmology!) And of course, as women, it is absolutely vital that you know your own body. Attend your breast screening appointments, don’t avoid smear tests, and if there is anything you are unsure of in terms of your gynaecological health, don’t stay quiet. I have found information on the Eve Appeal website to be invaluable on this front.

This week also marks a big date on my annual calendar – it is now twelve years since I lost my mum, Doreen. How I wish she was here to talk all of these issues through, as well as to ask for the obligatory advice about how to measure for curtains and whether I should try going grey or not. In fact, I don’t really need her for that as I tried it for six weeks and looked like a demented badger. It might suit some ladies, but it’s not my time yet. Doreen was my first beauty icon and my last one. Every day I hear her voice telling me to put on some more blusher, stand up straighter, and do something about root uplift. I shall never, ever forget her gripping my hand and instructing me never, ever to use box dye on my hair. When she passed away a week later, the staff at our Marie Curie Hospice told me they had never seen a make-up bag quite like it. I still have it. Let’s just say Bobbi Brown was her brand of choice.

A few weeks later I stepped out for the first time, and it was to meet my His & Hers editor Emma Hill for the very occasion. Accompanied by her lovely mum, Jean, they both become important women in my world. I know that Doreen would have definitely approved.

If you are feeling heavy under the weight of menopause gummies and devices to cool your pulse points, fear not. The best advice on the subject comes from the original and best font of knowledge, British Beauty Blogger, Jane Cunningham. Jane is my most trusted voice and on a recent Instagram Reel, she advised us to swerve menopause tea and stick to good old Tetley.

We may beg to differ slightly as I’m a Yorkshire Tea devotee, but add in a copy of Grazia and the new Apple TV+ offering Disclaimer starring Cate Blanchett, and I am in.

And I will leave the final words of wisdom to Doreen, who managed to win at life by smiling and sailing though so many situations, and coming home with many goodies, she left me in awe. Her mantra? If you don’t ask you, you don’t get, Nancy.

So I am offering a request to the Universe that somehow this festive season the beautiful Guerlain x Pucci collection lands in my lap.

That’s not to solve menopausal beauty problems, it is really just for fun.

It is also an easy gift list to write for anybody who may be interested. You can keep your heated chair covers for another year. Saying that, I have seen a lovely borg one that has six heat settings…

All prices are correct at time of publication. This piece contains no paid-for content, and no affiliate links.

For the very best information about gynaecological health head to the Eve Appeal here:

www.eveappeal.org.uk

For further information about the menopause these two websites are so informative:

www.menopausematters.co.uk

www.balance-menopause.com

For more information at By Alex Bell, a North-West based nail expert and technician:

www.instagram.com/byalexbell/

For the very best self-tan tips and then look no further than:

www.instagram.com/james_harknett/

To catch up on the very best latest beauty and skincare news and launches:

www.britishbeautyblogger.com

This piece is dedicated to the memory of Doreen Buckland.

It is also in thanks and gratitude to Emma and Jean Hill – a decade on, and the conversation continues.