The best part of being together with a person you love is precisely that: being together. However, as human beings, it is only natural that there are times, whether we feel overwhelmed, sick or overworked, where we either need a little time to ourselves or away from our daily lives. That doesn’t mean we don’t love our regular lives, and the people in them, it simply means we need to recharge our batteries, so we can come home with the energy and attitude that our loved ones deserve.
Don’t believe the films
There is narrative, often pushed by romantic media such as films and novels, where a couple who are truly in love must want – or even need – to spend every waking moment together. In this falsehood, different likes and activities apparently signal a widening gulf between the two. What we need to keep in mind is that while it fits nicely into the context of romantic fiction, it is just that: fiction.
Being in love means understanding and taking into account the fact that even the people we are closest to are different from us. Loving those we are closest to means giving them space to spread their wings, while we take the time to do so ourselves. Naturally, for most couples, there will be a variety of shared activities and hobbies – they may have been the reason why a couple found each other in the first place – but you shouldn’t feel pressured into just these as a way of entertainment, relaxation and fun together. Instead, we would recommend that couples set aside time to pursue their own interests, in order to flourish as individuals and take that passion back home to their partners.
Get out and get active
Exactly what you choose to do will, of course, depend on who you are as people and the time you have available. Some might make time to go out with the boys or girls and hit the club or sports arena. They might fit in some exercise, work off some stress in an active manner or burn off some calories in preparation for a romantic dinner ahead.
Prefer something a little quieter?
Those of us who enjoy the calm might be happier to sit at home and read a book or learn something new. This doesn’t have to be strictly academic either: many would choose to pick up the rules to a new game. Perhaps you could figure out the complex systems to a new strategy game or learn the finer points of inside and outside bets in roulette in an online casino. The options of things to do online are infinite, so you’ll be spoilt for choice in designing a solo night.
A night in doesn’t have to be online or in front of the TV, though. We could take this as an opportunity to engage our artistic side. Take up writing a novel if that was a dream you always held or clear out a space to start painting.
We’ve all had times where we were dragged out to take part in an activity of little or zero actual interest to us. This can be an important way of supporting your partner, but it is not the only way. Love is more complex than in the movies, more diverse. It involves letting off steam and having time to yourselves, it means fostering the part of yourself which gives you energy and recharges your capacities.
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