THIS WEEK, I WAS SENT AN EMAIL ENTITLED: “TWO THIRDS OF BRITISH WOMEN PREFER MEN CARRYING EXTRA WEIGHT AS THEY ARE ‘LESS LIKELY TO CHEAT.'” A REVELATION WHICH STOPPED ME IN MY TRACKS FOR SEVERAL MINUTES.
Apparently, the majority of British women are choosing “heavier, less fit males as they feel there is less chance of males being unfaithful to them, with the optimum partner being around 20-25 pounds above their recommended body weight” according to a survey of 2,398 women aged 18 and over.
Of course nobody wants to be cheated on. And I suppose if you could tell at a glance who was most likely to be faithful to you, it would be tempting to save yourself some heartache. But I’m really not convinced that asking a prospective partner for their BMI too early in the dating process is considered OK, and besides, even if you’re willing to ask the question, finding out how much someone weighs and whether they have a six pack just isn’t going to tell you whether they’ll stand by you in the face of temptation.
Only spending time with someone and looking beyond their body weight (whatever that may be) will do that. But try telling that to the participants in the survey. All of whom were given an extensive list of possible answers and asked to state all that were relevant to them. The top five most common answers are listed below and reading them made me sad, so I’ve added some comments.
1. I believe overweight men are less likely to be unfaithful in a relationship – 44%
(See above for my rant on this topic!)
2. I don’t feel as self-conscious about my own body hang-ups with an overweight partner – 37%
OK, admittedly feeling self-conscious about your body is rubbish. But whether you’re male or female, I’d recommend finding someone who helps you to forget about any hang-ups you may have about your body because of the way they look at you, the confidence-boosting things that they say, and how good you feel in their presence. Not because they’re carrying a few extra pounds.
3. Men who spend too much time on their fitness/health aren’t interesting or fun – 24%
Admittedly, talking about how fresh you feel since you started eating better / drinking more water / working out regularly just isn’t as entertaining as telling your friends and loved ones all about that crazy night that has completely broken you. But the same could be said of working hard and learning. Just because looking after yourself doesn’t make for great anecdotes, it doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing.
4. Overweight men are more likely to have a good sense of humour – 21%
If standup has taught us anything, it’s that men and women of all shapes and sizes can be very funny. In fact I’d go so far as to say that your weight is no better indicator of your sense of humour than it is of how likely you are to cheat.
5. I don’t feel like I am good enough to date a man who is physically fit/muscular – 16%
This is the comment that made me saddest of all. And then it reminded me of one of my favourite quotes from the Simpsons: “Oh, son, don’t overreach. Go for the dented car, the dead-end job, the less attractive girl. I blame myself. I should have had this talk a long time ago.”
Simpsons quotes aside, if you’re reading this and there’s someone you’d like to be dating, please don’t take yourself out of the running because of your insecurities. Because if you like someone and they like you back, the exact state of your midriff or theirs just won’t matter. Nor will it tell you how much they like you, whether they’ll be faithful, or if they see a future together. To get the answers to those questions, a person has to stop hedging their bets and dive in and find out.
The survey was commissioned by: https://www.bigdudeclothing.com/
You’ll find a complete list of His & Hers blog posts here.