You CAN Build Your Life Back From Scratch – Here’s How

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The easiest thing in the world is to dismiss yourself. That’s because the world that surrounds each person often tells them that yes, you are small, and yes, unless in special circumstances, you don’t matter.

Unfortunately, this can impede our self-worth if we begin believing that. Sure, nature is often impartial and indiscriminate, and life isn’t fair, but that in no way means you don’t matter. In fact, even if you have a spotty past filled with mistakes you would have rather avoided looking back, that doesn’t mean you’re a lost cause.

It’s important to remember this because blame-based thinking can only lead to absolutes, which never helps in the long run. It’s why many addiction therapists will often teach an addict to think of their issue as a disease that can be treated, and not a character flaw that they have to reinvent themselves against.

It’s 2025, the new half of a somewhat difficult decade so far. Now is a great time to replenish yourself and look to the future with a sense of ambition and care. But how might we build a life from scratch, even with such issues weighing us down? Let’s consider the following:

It’s Okay To Regret, But Don’t Let That Weigh You Down

Regret is a natural part of being human, and the people who say they have “no regrets” just aren’t being honest with you. That can make us feel that if we have regrets, we’ve failed, and oh look that’s a black mark in our memory forever. The truth is that most people carry around memories of things they wish they had done differently. Even if someone has lived perfectly, they might have said something out of temper or frustration to someone they love, or perhaps didn’t make good on an opportunity.

The helpful and healthy approach is to look at these feelings as signposts rather than chains. They show us what matters to us and what we’ve learned along the way, and that’s good. Imagine how self-assured and unbearable someone who never ever questioned what they did would be. Luckily, you’re not one of those people. So, when you catch yourself dwelling on past mistakes, remember that these thoughts are meant to guide you, not define you.

Everyone Is A Work In Progress

Nobody has it all figured out, even those who seem to have it all. Sometimes even especially them. Even the people who seem to have perfect lives are dealing with their own struggles and uncertainties. A healthy, rich, capable, attractive person with all the opportunities in the world might be worried about a parent with Alzheimer’s disease. 

So, life isn’t about reaching some final form where everything makes sense even if our goals-oriented thinking can sometimes make it seem like that. This is because each person moves at their own pace, learning and growing as they go. Some days will be better than others, and that’s perfectly normal. This means it’s important not to use past mistakes as an excuse to never try to be better in the future. It doesn’t matter if you’re going slowly, as you’re still a million times faster than everyone who isn’t trying.

There Are Systems To Help You

Support exists in many forms, which can be hard to see when you’re dealing with the chaos of a difficult life. For example, professional counseling and community groups are a great place to start and can be referred to for free in some circumstances. Some businesses have created countless ways to help others get back on their feet.

For example, local libraries often have resources about personal development such as classes about resume writing. In some areas, community centers run programs for people looking to make changes, such as alcoholics anonymous or support for those going through parenthood alone. The internet has made it easier than ever to find people who understand what you’re going through too, though make sure you go to communities with empathy and try to be as in-person as you can regarding these events. 

There are even some services that can help you with products you may need, such as debit cards and bank accounts suitable for those with bad credit, or you may find affordable insurance options for convicted drivers. With a service to help you restore and replenish your daily life, you tend to find a fantastic outcome.

Seeking Forgiveness & Apology Goes A Long Way

We tend to think that if we’ve made mistakes and those have affected people, we’ve effectively burnt all bridges. In some cases, unfortunately, this can be true, as it’s true people are more than entitled to leave for any reason at all. Putting it more simply, no one is compelled or obligated to stick around, and that doesn’t make them worse people either, even if you were going through a tough time.

That said, making amends is still worth it for those who are happy to listen. If you can show a genuine understanding of how our actions affected others, you may be surprised at the response. Sometimes people will accept our apologies right away. Other times, it takes longer. Occasionally, they won’t want to know or listen, and that’s fine too. 

The important thing is to be sincere and patient. It can bring you closer if nothing else. Just remember you don’t have to grovel or try to “make it better” by doing all you can and jumping through a thousand hoops, you still deserve dignity, and a heartfelt apology and consistency in your actions can make a difference.

Acceptance Helps You With Empathy

When you accept the flaws in yourself, you tend to be better off at accepting the flaws in others and aren’t so quick to judge. We also see our stages of life as temporary. For instance, if you used to judge people who looked unhealthy (obviously a bad habit, but unfortunately many do it), you may not have seen how that person will go on to lose weight or fight the illness they’re dealing with, or perhaps overcoming a struggle much like yours. Understanding that can be essential.

Recognizing this helps us connect with people on a deeper level. We start to see beyond surface judgments and appreciate the complexity in each person’s story, and most of all, realize two truths – you should never, ever judge someone except for in the most extreme of circumstances, and you should never, ever take anything for granted.

You Will Have Learned Something

When we were children, we were often told by parents or teachers “You can learn this lesson the easy way, or the hard way.” We don’t particularly understand that as little ones, because we don’t have the life experience to know what true difficulty is.

But if you’ve gone the hard way, as you may have given the topic of this post, keep in mind that every difficult experience teaches us something valuable. These lessons stick with us because we learned them the more difficult way, even, as sometimes, we just have to experience an issue firsthand to truly get the principles. 

Such principles shape how we handle similar situations in the future. While perhaps you now wish you took the easier option, you know it now. Think of how many recovered alcoholics who now know something about themselves – that they’re susceptible to influence from their peers in the party lifestyle, and that they simply cannot ever have a drop of alcohol lest that become a real issue. Even powerhouse creatives like David Bowie had to learn this, and so don’t assume it’s only an issue reserved for weak people.

You Can Focus On Smaller Achievements

Big goals can feel overwhelming and that often causes us to feel like restoration isn’t worth it. But breaking them down into smaller steps makes them more manageable. Maybe start with making your bed each morning or taking a daily walk, that could seem tiny to you in the future, but now just doing that can be a real change of pace. These small victories add up over time with that kind of mindset in tow, because they help build confidence and create positive habits that lead to bigger changes.

You’re Absolutely Not Alone In This Journey

Millions of people are working to rebuild their lives right now. Some are recovering from addiction. Others are starting over after relationships end. Many are finding new directions after career changes. Knowing this doesn’t make your challenges easier, but it reminds us that you’re in no way disconnected from the world around you, or that issues have singled you out specifically.

However, while that kind of relative comparison can help you feel less alone, remember that comparing all the time isn’t so great. Just compare yourself to who you were last week. If you’re doing your best, then you’re on a positive forward path and that’s lovely. Someone who may seem to be doing much better than you now could experience the exact same issues you did later on in life. So just focus on who you are today, it makes a big difference.

With this advice, we hope you can see that with the right perspective, rebuilding your life after a difficult past is not only possible, it’s yours to be taken, right now.

We’re very proud to bring you this feature in association with Truity, The Balance Rehab Clinic, Insurance Revolution, The Kevin Eikennberry Group and Zen Habits. For more features, please pay a visit to our lifestyle page.

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